Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Giving and getting.

A friend of mine asked if I would host a charity event to benefit The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society as she knew I could handle myself in that sort of a scenario. It was a speed-dating event held at a popular local pub.

Now, I found it a comical thing for me to be the face of. But I was more than happy to help and had a lot of fun. More importantly, so did the people that participated… and best of all, they could leave feeling great that the money they put forth goes to help this great cause. The other customers at the pub even took part by purchasing raffle tickets, and the management were very generous indeed, both on behalf of the bar and individually.

After it was over, a few of the participants hung around and it was lovely to chat with them. But after cleaning up, as I was heading out, a group of guys that had been there all night, now entertaining one woman, called me over. Having fielded questions all night about the event, I assumed that was what it was why.

Before I continue, I must interject that one of the married guys had interrupted a conversation I was having with this lovely, tiny, woman to see if she’d be willing to come meet his single friend who was interested in her. Yikes.

Now, having joined this group, the one single guy he’d been talking about begins to chat me up. I was having a nice time, but then I knew what kind of woman he liked, right? Über-thin I am not. However, confident I am. Here’s the thing, though. This same gentleman in all politeness tells me that they talked about me. Okay, I figured. But then he sort of concedes that I’m beautiful… after qualifying it with “full-figured.” Hmm.

Can I ask you, what woman would even need, much less want, that qualification? Really? I know what I look like, and I’m more than happy with myself. If you like what you see, then don’t be telling me that I’m “big” or “thick” or “full-figured” or any of that. I’m a WOMAN. I’m beautiful at any size and shape. And I know at any given moment what that size and shape is. Like or leave it, Bubba! Sure I want to be more fit (mostly so I can do my sport again and better), but this is me right now, and I really am all that just like this!

Now, as I was leaving – leaving him wanting more, of course – he asked if he could see me again. Well, sure, okay. I enjoyed talking to him and he really was a gentleman who paid me some lovely, thoughtful compliments along the way. However, on my way home I thought about the fact that he preferred the beautiful, tiny lady, and wondered why I agreed. Eh, cop or not I’d eat him alive really. But maybe I’ll gain a friend.

"Every new friend is a new adventure...
...the start of more memories."

Patrick Lindsay


gbpackergirl76 said...

Doesn't he know that he should NEVER ever EVER comment on a woman's size other than "You are absolutely gorgeous." Ugh. Whatev. I'm glad you had a ton of fun at the event, and it raised money for a very good cause!

Courtney said...

Congratulations on raising money for such an important cause. And rising above the "full-figured" comment and realizing he could be a worthy connection, albeit one who needs a little re-eduction!

Heather said...

Can I just say, wow! I admire you *so* much, for several reasons of course, but today especially both for hosting such an important fund raiser and for your skillful handling of guys and the whole dating scene.

I *wish* I had even half the confidence and generosity that you have. I'm entirely too good at writing people off at the first offense, and as a result probably spend more time by myself than I'd honestly prefer.

whichwaydidshego said...

You know, you girls are the best! It behooves me to engage with you more as you encourage and inspire me so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

And Heather, I think you are amazing. You not only inspire me but have changed how I live radically in recent days! But do give people a chance - because you deserve the benefits of connections more than any benefits they might receive (and the benefit of you is a great one)!

whichwaydidshego said...

Heather, this just came up as the quote after I wrote this... may I in some small way with my confidence liberate you in the same way.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
— Marianne Williamson